ADI Part 3 - Confidence

Confidence

A very common theme with ADI trainees is their lack of confidence, both in themselves and also in their abilities to pass the qualifying tests

It's a completely natural thing for human beings to feel stress and anxiety at the thought of having to learn so much, and then having to pass a test to make all the hard work worthwhile. Every trainee feels the same, be it part 1, part 2 or part 3. I feel the same. I always will do. It's just the way we are

When we lack confidence it shines like a lighthouse on a bright clear night. Our body language screams 'I'm anxious', we fidget and allow our natural mannerisms and speech patterns take over. The words we say and the messages we send out are most certainly not congruent

What we want is to be able to control our nerves and anxiety. We want to give off an air of professionalism and confidence

It's not about showing off . . . it's about sending out a message that says 'I'm confident in my abilities . . . I know what I want, and I'm going to get it'

The good news is that, believe it or not, that state of mind is remarkably easy to achieve. But first just a word of warning . . . you want the SE to think that you know your stuff, that you can give a great lesson and that you are worthy of your 'green badge' . . . so make sure that you are. Get to know your stuff very well indeed. The firsts stage of gaining confidence in your abilities to actually have those abilities in the first place

Now, assuming that you have what it takes . . . how can you control those nerves? How can we turn those nagging doubts about ourselves into positive messages that ooze confidence and self belief?

Strangely, the first step is to tell yourself how good you are. Convince yourself, and you'll easily convince the rest of the world . . .

Talk to yourself

So, the first step is to consider your own thoughts. Every human being thinks in images and sounds. Each of us has an internal voice that seems to play constantly. Some are loud, some are soft and barely audible. The voice talks to us in our own, normal language

Quite often we say to ourselves 'I don't want to fail. I don't want all that hard work to be a waste of time'

When you have these thoughts, you are sending very powerful messages directly to your subconscious. Very powerful messages indeed

Psychologists now recognise a very important thing about the human brain and how it encodes and uses language. The blow to us is that the human brain cannot possibly work in negatives

Picture your car parked outside. Now, don't think of a green card in the windscreen of your car

The vast majority of those reading this will have pictured that wonderful green card in their car's, and then blanked it out as requested. Why?

Well, as above, the brain cannot process negatives, so it turns whatever it is told into a positive, so that it knows what 'not' to do. Most of us had a picture of the green card in the windscreen, before we could blank it out. Those that think they didn't will have done, but won't have realised that the image was very dim or quickly removed. All people are different

So, when you say to yourself 'I don't want to fail. I don't want all that hard work to be a waste of time', your brain has to remove the negatives. What you are actually saying to your subconscious is 'I want to fail. I want all that hard work to be a waste of time', because the brain removes (filters) the negative 'don't'

Of course, the conscious 'you' that really wants to pass knows exactly what to do and how to feel, but by using negative language you are setting up a battle between your conscious mind and your very powerful subconscious. By the way, these are not my crazy ideas, they are very well established principles of communication and psychology

The simple way to rectify this is to set your goals in positive terms. Instead of telling yourself (and others) what you 'don't' want, tell yourself what you 'do' want

So, make sure that your internal voice says things like 'I really want to pass. All that hard work has been worth it'. Notice the difference? Now your subconscious gets a clearly positive message and can work with you, instead of battling against you

By the way, this method needs to become your normal method of talking, not just to yourself, but with your family

Catch yourself thinking or saying anything negative, and turn it positive. Watch for expressions such as 'I don't want to look stupid', 'I don't want to fail really badly'

Now, let's talk about something else that seems just as crazy, but can have a dramatic effect on how you feel and look . . .

The Mind - Body System

This is one of those scary psychological things that seems almost impossible when you first read about, or experience it. However, I've seen dramatic results in trainees who took the ideas and applied them

Let me start by giving you another one of those psychologists rules:

the mind and body are one system and affect each other constantly

What this means, in simple terms, is that the way you fee inside (your state of mind) affects your body and the way you look. So, if you feel anxious and nervous, you will look anxious and nervous. If you feel happy, you look happy. If you feel sad, you look sad. If you feel confident in your ability to pass part 3 and to become a great instructor, you'll look confident in yourself and give off an air of knowing what you're doing

Well, here's the killer blow . . .

Read that rule again. 'The mind and body are one system and affect each other constantly'. Please note that the rule says that the mind and body affect each other, it doesn't say that the mind affects the body, and not the other way round

This is what some people find initially hard to grasp. The body affects the mind every bit as much as the mind affects the body. If you want to feel happy, smile and act like it. If you want to feel sad, frown and act like it's the end of the world. If you want to feel confident, act like it. Simple

If you don't believe it, try it now. Grin like a Cheshire cat and force yourself to act 'happy'. You will, to some extent, change your state of mind in a positive manner

But how do we act confident? What does a confident person act like?

Let's try an experiment. In a moment, close your eyes and relax. In your 'minds eye', create an image of car with two people sitting in the drivers seat and front passenger seat of a leaner car. You can place your 'mental camera' anywhere you like. You can sit in the back seat, without being noticed if you like. Now, concentrate your attention on the person in the front passenger seat. It's you, and you are giving a driving lesson to an unknown person who isn't important. Try to make the image big, colourful and powerful. Really be there. What you've noticed is that this imaginary you looks really confident. You can see yourself acting, sounding and looking confident and really at ease with the situation

Now, how is the confident you dressed? How is the confident you talking and acting? What about hand movements? Notice that there's no fidgeting, no 'erms' and 'umms' as you forget what to say, no sign of nerves and anxiety. Just a very confident you who's enjoying every moment

Get this picture clear. Practice this over and over, in different situations and from different 'mental camera' positions. Picture a confident, professional you. Hear a confident and professional you. Feel how the confident you feels. Step into it and make it real

That's how you should act. That's how you should sound and that's how you should feel. Recall that the body affects the mind. You always feel more confident when you dress smartly, do you not? Have you ever wondered why? It's because you have the power to affect the way you feel by acting and looking differently

The really powerful thing is that this becomes a positive cycle. You act confidently, so you feel more confident in yourself. Your brain notices and affects the way you look, so you start to look even more confident. And the ball keeps rolling

Some trainees who have really bad anxiety or confidence issues have found their situation improved dramatically in next to no time with these methods

This is a fascinating subject, and I don't proclaim to be an expert, so you should seek expert advice before using any of these techniques

ADIT Team.