ADI Part 3 - Congruence

Congruence

Congruence sounds like a very complicated, technical expression, but in reality it simply describes something that you experience every day.

Have you ever seen the film pinocchio?

The cute little hero has a nose that grows each time he tells a tiny little white lie.

Perhaps it's a good job that we don't all have noses that do that. Or do we?

Well, actually, we do. Not in quite so obvious fashion, but human beings are very, very good at spotting what psychologists call incongruence.

I've already explained elsewhere that over 80% of what you say, or communicate, to your listener has nothing to do with the words you say. Your body language, tone of voice and facial expressions are all far, far more important.

When a human being is in congruence, what that means is that the same message is being transmitted via their words, their gestures, their expressions . . . every single little twitch and movement.

Have you ever spoken to someone, perhaps a salesman, and thought 'I hear what you're saying, but something seems not quite right'?

That's congruence in action. Or rather, incongruence.

Sales people are usually highly trained in this area of communication, so that they can persuade you to buy their product. If they believe in it completely, if their every message is congruent, then it must be a very good product indeed.

People are exceptionally good at picking up on incongruence in others. The SE is no exception at all.

You should aim to have all of your communication as congruent as possible. You are aiming to give off an air of confidence and ability. You won't do that if you shuffle about uneasily, so be very aware of your body language and the posture you adopt.

Always think 'is all of me saying the same thing?'

ADIT Team.